This ‘f’ language really isn’t my thing but I chose to title my article that way after I saw a post on Facebook by a friend of mine and it just got me thinking. Apologies for using the ‘f’ word, I did not want to remove the same impact his post had on me when I read it. Thanks to you man, you made me think this.
By Sineke Sibanda
We have turned over to 2016 out of a horrendous 2015 and I can assure you that most of us who penned down their resolutions, they were probably a much ado about nothing. A few of us who religiously followed them really achieved little compared to what was on our diaries. I was on Forbes website yesterday and one of the quotes I met said that people who normally resort to fate are graduates of failure. This is not to rule out that there are people who strongly believe in the “fate cult”; that there is no need to plan because things will always take the course of nature. If I’m doomed to fail, I will fail, if I’m favoured to win, I will win. Taking out all the forces that are behind the doom or the victory, I want to bring ‘you’ as a force that determines either of the two. I know in Africa, people have all the superstitious answers to every failure or fortune, in Europe, they have all the logical explanations. You know what? I don’t want to be part of that trajectory because I think that it’s just a fall back platform to legitimize our failures and make us feel better about ourselves at a time we should go back to the drawing board and asses where and why we missed the heart of the dart-board.
I guess there is a proper definition as to what resolutions really are but I will explain it according to how it has been institutionalised into my genes ever since I left primary school. They said new year’s resolutions are projections of what you want to achieve at specific time frames of the year. One of the things that I was never told is that the how to, why to needs to be figured out by no one else but me and if I did not, my resolutions would remain on that paper; beside the point that I was told to be particular about the when to achieve them.
I remember some of my 2015 resolutions were to own a driver’s license, travel to four African countries for the holidays among many others, a bit too personal. Sadly, I have very convincing excuses on why none of these were achieved. Trust me if I tell you my reasons, you will really say f**k resolutions… But to be quite honest, I think there is no need to f**k resolutions because at the end it all, we are the people who screw up our resolutions due to several reasons. There is an old adage that says life is what you make it, when I looked at it while writing my 2016 resolutions, it read differently and made perfect sense. I could have made my life if I had I asked myself the right questions. The reasons why most resolutions fail is because we ask the wrong questions. When you ask yourself the wrong questions, you are bound to get wrong answers, if that happens, then you are doomed.
We are also afraid of challenging what we already know. One thing I have learnt over the years is that you can never grow beyond what you already know. The amount of what you know determines how far you reach. Some of our resolutions have failed because we didn’t acquire the necessary knowledge to achieve them. It’s so sad that we want to be better but do not dare ourselves to try that which will make us better. If you are afraid of challenging yourself to reach out to the deep, then don’t hope to get there. The idea is to be able to match your resolutions with a proper plan of action and then act.
One other funny thing that normally happens is that when we write our resolutions, we tend to go up the terraces and expect to see them work out miraculous somersault for us. Really? Everything on earth requires motion and action, nothing goes on autopilot, you need to be part of the resolution, once you distance yourself from it, forget the miracle. You need to be part of the resolution, nothing happens on its own. You make things happen.
The next point reminds me of a song by Imagine Dragons from the Night Vision album, “Demons”, ‘nomater what we breed, we still are made of greed’. It’s true, we are made of greed but I think we are still reasonable enough to know that we cannot be greedy on ourselves. I mean you are the resolution yourself. The principle of chewing only enough for you to swallow applies here. The best you can do is to pen down your resolutions, break the targets down to smaller bits that you can assimilate and work on getting the desired result in short time frames and then assess yourself at those specific time frames and measure your success.
For the guys that believe in just doing it, it’s good too, just do it but till when will we continue walking blindly without an idea of the future. The reason why we tend to think resolutions don’t work, it’s because we don’t make provisions for playing while we achieve our goals. Play hard and work hard, simple. As you reach out to your goals, make the process enjoyable.
Life is funny, you only get out of it what you put into it. So discipline yourself enough to reach out to the best of life. Work on your resolutions and put your heart, soul and spirit to making them come true, no miracles this time around, otherwise, instead of F**king resolutions, you know who to ‘f’…